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sharonluong
life is always better with color & IN color ♥ Age: 19 Status: Single __112210. Location: New York City Job: iSell Korean Circle Lenses; otherwise unemployed *See the WHITE DIAMOND to the left of the banner* |
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Friday, June 26, 2009,8:07 PM
062609
So like, I was going through some of my old Facebook notes the other day, and I came across this particular note titled, "Top4." First thought before opening it was it would be about the Top4 people in my life. Instead, it was the Top4 for certain categories that were named. I scrolled through the note, and came across the category "Top4 dates." I took that to mean like calendar dates. I sorta cheated - I put 4....ish. That's beside the point, but I had put 062509*, the asterisk meaning that it would come later. Yesterday was that date. Yesterday was 062509. Yesterday was June 25, 2009. Yesterday marked the end, yet also the beginning. Yesterday was graduation. It didn't seem like it would end all so fast. But it did. Is it me, or does it not feel as if we've graduated yet? I shed no tears yesterday. I still feel like we're going to have to go to school together, and still be able to be with everyone sorta "on demand." But it's not like that. I guess that part hasn't soaked in yet. When it hits me, it will definitely hit me hard. I'm not ready to "move on to greater things." I still need the guidance and closeness that my elementary, middle school and high school teachers gave me. I know college won't be like that, and I'm going into college even with the smallest hint of hope that it WILL be like that. Hopefully, after orientation, I'll detach that hope from my mind and realize that things will ALL be different. True love and true friendship; these are things that are not material, not buyable. Everyone wants them, but by wanting them too much is the easiest way to either lose or not be able to obtain them. True love and true friendship are about being able to grow as individuals without growing apart; mature individually while fanning the fire of the relationships, and being able to keep contact, no matter the distance or time. This is one thing I vow to try to do - grow, and let my loved ones grow too, without getting in the way of anyone's dreams, including my own. Granted, I will definitely be there for everyone that matters to me, everyone close, but I will also try to be there for those whom I didn't really get to know - who knows? Maybe we'll end up having to work together, eh? I just hope that everyone will learn to prioritize their time and efforts - don't spend too much time and effort on people and things that do not deserve it. I mean, I'm not trying to be anyone's mother, and I know I sorta sound like it, but some of these things are just common sense. I love you all dearly, and wish the best for you, but success isn't simply handed over to you on a silver platter, lined with diamonds. While life changes, friends don't have to. Thanks TELE'09 & TECH'09 (formally known as McAuliffe'05, some of you anyway :P) for sharing yourselves with me. Although I always said I hated Tele, deep down, I guess I can't say I hated it. Tele was like my second home. Everyone was a friend, teachers included. Everyone hoped for the others' successes, and helped to revert failures. Everyone was each other's backbone, infrastructure. The support, along with everything else, helped me through high school. It wasn't until today, when the principal was kicking us out, that I realized that. Not to be cheesy, but it was as if the teachers are the basic structure, and us students are the malleable part of the structure, allowed to pick whatever shape we wanted to be. Today, that shape has been stretched out. We're going all over the place; some out of state, some out of city, and some staying right here. No matter what though, we'll always have that bond, that TELAAAA spirit that brings us all together. We started out as strangers freshman year, and have become each other's family as we leave senior year. Tele'09, thanks for making my high school years different than that of the movies, different than any other high school. Brooklyn Tech.. my dream high school, because my mom wanted it, because all my friends were going there. BUT, when I got the scoring from the SSHSAT that said that the score I got was inadequate for Tech, I didn't care. While my 8th grade peers around me were tearing, crying, sobbing, wallowing in their misery, I said EH, WHATEVER, I don't really care. It hit me during July heat that I did not want to go to Tele; I tried to go to Fort, but gave up because I was already registered for Tele, so I went. I still kept in contact with McAuliffers who went to Tech for the first and second years.. then sorta drifted... and drifted back.. but as time went on, the Techies that I started to hang out with slowly changed from fellow McAuliffers to straight up Techies who went to totally different schools. How does that work? I guess people change, blahblah, networking, yeayea. I miss my McAuliffers; where'd you guys go? I mean, I love all the new friends, but still. So anyway.. Tech'09; friends from McAuliffe, friends from Tech. You guys were my other family, other than Tele. You guys were definitely the other half that made my high school years memorable. Junior year, junior summer and senior year definitely made my high school years awesome. Everyone who I've known, met, lost, kept have shaped me so much. You guys also supported me through tough times, and a lot of my uncertainties. Thanks for teaching me new things, new ways to approach problems and events, and for teaching me that trying doesn't mean failing. Even though some I met during the Hamptons trip, it really doesn't matter how long you've known someone - it's about who would be there to pick you up and help you dust your butt off when you trip and fall embarassingly. It's a regret that I didn't meet some of you sooner. Even though I'm not from Tech, I feel like an honorary Techie. Thanks for letting me be a part of you guys. I'm definitely going to miss the ability to get at everyone to meet up at Columbus or Grand or some usual meeting place. Good luck to everyone, no matter where you're going, or what you're doing. Call me, IM me, Facebook me. Somehow keep in touch with me. ♥ I would speak about individuals, but honest to myself, I'm so lazy right now.. and seriously, if you need physical proof that you're special to me, then I guess I'M not that special to you? Haha. It's okay though. I love you all dearly, and hold you all close to my heart. If we never speak again, I wish you the best of the best, and don't forget about CHINATOWN! Actually, maybe I'll do some shout-outs later. Or never. I LOVE YOU GUYS ♥ /end post. Wednesday, June 24, 2009,6:49 PM
Wow.
So like, I don't even know who reads my posts anymore, so I guess blogspot's sorta become like a "personal" online journal. The last time I posted on here, I was full of apologies, sadness, and lots of negative thoughts. Since then, there has definitely been a lot more of those feelings, but there are also happy times that are worth remembering. Week at the Hamptons - started out draggy, but it turned out nicely. I'm so happy to have met new people; everyone was so awesome (minus.. some people who sorta ruined my mood, but who cares for those people?). I loved the new "games" we learned - Ghost & "Watermelon". Thanks for inviting me, Danny, even though between us, it wasn't that much of a joy ride. If you invite me to the next big thing, hopefully it won't turn out like this. Sorry about that. Anyways, I don't know why I wanted to blog, but here I am. I JUST, literally, JUST, made a Twitter account. It's so WACK! It's like one part of Facebook - the status update part. I don't know; it doesn't seem fun.. It could be because I have no friends on there (yet), haha! Add me? I don't know how you do those things.. I'm xsharonified there too :P Blah... I don't really know why I'm here, but all I'm thinking about is how "far" we've come, bby. It would've all been over in October, so why exactly are we still here? It was a mutual feeling, a mutual understanding; this mutuality (is that a word??) is what is keeping the relationship together. I feel like, no matter what fights we've gone through, what harsh words we exchange with each other, in the end, we "mutually" agree that we each need to compromise, give something up, try something new. The unwillingness to give up.. may or may not be a good thing, but for now, I think it's a good thing. We're looking at 10 months, almost 11 months, and then a year. A year?! Already?! Time really flew. Fights, smiles, tears, happiness - all in a year. We're young, and if this ends up not working out, at least we'll have the memories to look back on, and the experience to grow on. Sure, we'll be sad at first.. but sadness comes and goes, and eventually.. life will go on. One day, I'll look back on these entries; maybe you're still the one I say I love you to, maybe you're not. All that matters is that at one point in my life, you were my other half. I love you, Danny. 080308 - 070308 [11] |
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