sharonluong life is always better with color & IN color ♥

Age: 19
Status: Single __112210.
Location: New York City
Job: iSell Korean Circle Lenses; otherwise unemployed
*See the WHITE DIAMOND to the left of the banner*
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Thursday, October 14, 2010,9:09 PM
Day 4 : Your Sibling (or closest relative)

I fucking hate old Asian ladies, or even middle-aged Asians ladies, especially on the train!!!
Like, have the respect to STAND ASIDE when people are trying to get off - even if I'm not the one getting off, I see this happening, and I want to punch you.

And don't fucking push me into the train, okay? Who do you think you are?
Re-thefuck-lax, everyone's gonna get to get on the train.
Don't rush just for a seat - you're not going to die just because you don't get a seat.
You think you're tired, just because you're old and been working all day?
You see all these people standing? Yea, they're all tired too.

Fuck, man. One of these days, I'm really going to explode on a few of them.


Anyway, my baby's birthday is coming up in a week.
And I'm mad at him.
I think.
For past stuff.
Keep in anger, and it'll bubble up until it finally explodes like a bomb.

Well, I still don't have a gift for him.
What should I do?
I feel like a terrible girlfriend, but why don't I feel bad?
Maybe because I feel like...nevermind.

I know one thing that I want for my birthday.
And I know who I want it to be from.
Necklace - to match the ring that I bought for myself.
But it's stupid because there's no thought if you just buy something on my wishlist.

Do you know how sad it is to always be buying stuff for myself?
I have to buy myself things to "reward" myself.
To keep myself busy, and happy.

I want to feel like I'm special.
I want to feel like I'm worth something.
I don't someone to spend A LOT of money on me.
I want something nice & heartfelt;
Something special, just like I should be.
Sometimes, I just want something material to prove it.
I know I shouldn't "need" it, but I want it.
Is this so difficult and demanding?

I think I'm so depressed now that even dark chocolate and shopping won't save me.
You know what I really want?
I want someone to follow and read my blog, and to let me know I'm important, that I'm special.
I have no idea who to talk to; there's like no one available.
So it could just be a-n-y-o-n-e; a stranger.

Please?

----------

Dear younger brothers,

I fucking hate you too. Just like I hate the parents.
You're both full of shit, and have no sense of priority.

I talk back, because I have the standing.
You talk back, but you have nothing to back yourself up.
No grades, no job, nothing special.
Just a bunch of complaints.

You are both going to become homeless, and I will NOT shelter you.
I will NOT help you.

Go screw yourselves.
Fuck you.

By the way, this was one of the easiest posts so far.


Love,
Sharon
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